Hidden Feelings
by Ravenwolf10
Summary: First of a trilogy. This is a Joxer story and involves a relationship with Xena. If you're not a fan of Joxer then this may not be the story for you. It is set at the aftermath of the events of "A Comedy Of Eros" and covers a time span of about 7 years.
1. Chapter 1

**GENERAL COPYRIGHT/DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Callisto, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.**

_**Hidden Feelings **_

Part I

Warrior: Friend

The first early rays of sunlight rose up over the small camp. The embers of last night's warm fire was still glowing, but the coziness and heat had long since given way to chilled early morning air. Three forms huddled in skins and bedrolls around the circle of the fire, clinging to the last moments of warmth they could indulge in before rising to pack for the day's journey.

One of the forms stirred, and from it emerged a head full of long dark hair that concealed a pair of pale blue eyes. Shivering and pulling the cover tightly around her tall frame, Xena rose to her feet and stumbled over to the dying fire. Picking up some dry twigs and throwing them on top of the fading coals, she then picked up a stick and teased the fire back to life. Feeling renewed warmth returning to her chilled body, she leaned back against a log and reveled in the quiet of a new dawn.

As she sat, wrapping her arms around her knees and resting her head on them, her thoughts turned to the events of the day before, and particularly what transpired between her two companions. It had all been so crazy... the whole thing with Cupid, Draco, Gabrielle, and Joxer. "Imagine me and DRACO! By the Gods, how ridiculous!" she thought. It's true they had a history together as warlords and fought together many times in the past, and Draco had been interested in her as more than a fellow warlord. But as for her own feelings, they had been strictly business where he was concerned.

True, it was funny to think of the mismatch of herself and Draco, but the other mismatch that came from this Cupid incident, the one of Gabrielle and Joxer, was the one that troubled her the most. She had traveled with Gabrielle for a few years now and had shared many adventures, and many personal times, both good and bad. Gabrielle was like the sister she had never had, and she loved her dearly, thanking the gods every day for her friendship.

Joxer had became an important part of her life, too. When they had first met him, he was somewhat of a nuisance, and there were times when she wanted to, and did, punch him for being so bumbling. But Joxer the Mighty was persistant, and in time she saw what was inside the funny warrior wannabe. He was a man of goodness and a pure heart, a true, honest friend. He had proven it to her time after time. Under that clumsy exterior and that goofy hat was a good man, a man that would give his life for her and Gabrielle. He was also a man who would never hurt them. His heart was full of goodness and love, a rare man, these days.

Xena had known many men. Too many, by some peoples standards maybe, but it was her life and part of who she was. Strange, though, out of all the men she had encountered in her life only two stood out as truly good and decent. That was Hercules and Joxer. Who could have ever imagined that Joxer would share equal billing with Hercules in her mind as one of the men she valued most in her life? Yet he did. Joxer was special.

Yes, these two forms still sleeping peacefully by the fire, Gabrielle and Joxer, were the most important people in her life, and the thought of losing either of them was one that she couldn't bear. That is what made this thing with Cupid so hard. Gabrielle had been under the influence of Cupids arrow; but Joxer, poor Joxer, to him it was very real.

Xena shuddered at the image of Joxer's face and the hurt that was in his eyes, when Gabrielle laughed at the idea of the two of them in love. Joxer had been in love with Gabrielle from the moment they first met and had dreamed of them being together one day as more than friends. His hopes had soared to the sky when he thought Gabby had finally fallen in love with him. "Oh, Gabrielle, sometimes you can be so dense!" Xena whispered to herself. Didn't she realize what she could have? Does'nt she know how lucky she is to have a man like that love her? "The fool!"

Xena felt anger at Gabrielle's disregard for Joxer's feelings. She remembered how she had caressed his shoulder, to show him she felt his hurt, also. She remembered the other feelings, too, the ones that had her confused now. How she had wanted to hold him close to her and make his hurt go away, how she had wanted to kiss his tears away! "What is happening to me? This is Joxer, a friend- no, more than a friend, a brother! Why am I feeling this way?"

Rustling sounds from the other side of the fire brought her out of her thoughts. "Morning, Xena!" Joxer rose from his bundle of furs, and smiled. He looked refreshed, but the sadness from the night before still lingered on his boyishly handsome face.

"Boy, that fire sure looks good! What's for breakfast?"

"Breakfast? Don't ask me, the cook is still sleeping. But I suppose I could see if there is any fish in that creek."

"Ok, you check out the fish and I'll find some more wood. That creek looks cold. Have fun!" Joxer chuckled and walked towards the woods.

"You know it wouldn't hurt you to fish sometimes, Joxer!" Xena yelled after him, as she stood up and adjusted the blanket around her and headed toward the icy water's edge. It was good to see him smile. Maybe this thing with Gabrielle would not leave too many scars after all.

Returning from the creek with a string of small but easily caught trout, Xena was thankful to see that Gabrielle had finally gotten up and was tending the fire. A nice pile of wood was stacked next to the fire pit as Joxer was busying himself packing up his things. This was something that she needed to get busy doing herself. The morning was already getting old and they had a long journey ahead of them to the Amazon village, a walk of at least three days.

It was time for the annual tribal counsel meeting and Gabrielle needed to fulfill her responsibility as Princess and overseer of the meeting in Ephiny's place. Since Ephiny had given birth to Xenon, her time was spent in the Centaur village as much as her own village. After Phantes was killed, she had inherited his responsibilities to the Centaurs, since she was his wife. She was now torn between the Amazons and the Centaurs, but at least their union had brought some peace between the two villages.

After everyone had eaten their fill of the trout and camp had been packed, it was time to leave for the village.

Xena noticed a different air between her companions this morning. The usual joking and teasing between them was not there this time. Joxer kept his distance from Gabrielle and had not even looked up from his meal while she chattered like nothing at all was wrong. "Gabrielle...how can you be so blind! Gods, can't you see how much you have hurt him?" There it was again, that same feeling of anger at Gabrielle that she had been feeling since last night, and the same sudden urge to take Joxer in her arms and comfort him. "What is happining to me?" Xena kicked the dirt under her foot and headed towards Argo.

The day had been tiresome and uneventful as well as unnervingly quiet, except for the few outbursts of idle chatter from Gabrielle. Still the tension in their midst was undeniable. Joxer had chosen to walk several paces behind them by himself for most of the day. Xena cast looks back at him several times and was saddened by the lost, lonely look on his face. Argo was tiring so they stopped at a shady grove of apple trees. Here, they rested while Argo grazed. After emptying the waterskin, Xena went to the saddlebags to get the other one and bring it to Joxer, who was sitting alone under a large oak tree. He continued to stay as far away from Gabrielle as he could. "Hey, you look like you could use some of this," Xena spoke softly.

"You got anything stronger?" Smiling, Joxer took the waterskin and drank deeply from it. Wiping his mouth, he looked up at Xena, "I've been thinking about this trip. I don't think it would be a good idea for me to join you two there. Besides, I need some time to myself, to sort things out in my mind. So I won't be leaving with you when we're done here. I'm going to go back to Thebes for awhile. I haven't seen my family in a long time. They probably think I'm dead by now!" He looked down at the ground and twirled a blade of grass between his fingers.

"I understand, Joxer. Sometimes we all just need to be alone to think. I hope you find your family to be well. I'm sure they will be overjoyed to see you again." Xena reached out to him and ran her hand lovingly down his arm giving his hand an understanding squeeze. Joxer got up, hugged her and started down the opposite direction of the trail. Looking back, he said, "I'll miss you guys, stay out of trouble now, ok!"

Xena watched him walk away and suddenly felt a rush of sadness overcome her. "This was wrong! He should not feel so alone and unwelcome with them" She wanted to run after him and stop him from going..."What, again? Come on Xena, get a grip!"

Gabrielle came up and poked her in the ribs, startling her out of her thoughts. "Hey, where's Joxer going? Isn't he coming with us?"

"No...he's going home to visit his family. He's got some things on his mind.."

"Oh, well, I did notice that he was awfully quiet today. Well, come on! We'd better get a move on if we want to get there before the meeting starts."

They traveled on for the rest of the afternoon, but Xena could not stop worrying about Joxer. "He looked so depressed when he left us earlier. Is he going to be able to deal with this rejection? The road to Thebes is a dangerous one. Is he going to be alert to the danger or will his thoughts make him careless? What if something happens to him?"

Xena stopped Argo in her tracks. "Gabrielle, I can't go with you to the village. There's something I have to do and you know how I hate crowds anyway. Don't worry, when I get done I will come back and meet up with you in a couple of weeks, ok?"

"Xena? What do you have to do that is so important that you just jump up and take off now?"

" I can't talk about it now, Gabrielle; but trust me, it is very important." With that Xena turned Argo around and kicked her into a gallop. Looking back at Gabrielle, she called out, "I will see you in two weeks! Be careful, and tell the Amazons hello for me!"

Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders and shook her head in confusion, as she continued on down the trail.

"I've got to catch up with Joxer!" Xena thought to herself. "He doesn't need to be alone now. What kind of friend would I be if I left him to deal with this by himself?" Xena urged Argo on, knowing that it would soon be dark and Joxer would have too much of a lead on her by morning. She had to find him now!


	2. Chapter 2

**GENERAL COPYRIGHT/DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Callisto, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.**

_**Hidden Feelings**_

Part II

Hero: Friend

Joxer traveled for hours, lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly, he realized that it was almost dark. The sounds of crickets chirping brought him back to the present, which was the reality that twilight was approaching. He noticed a nice clearing off the road, with a pond nearby. This was a perfect place for him to spend the night. He hurriedly set up his blanket and prepared a fire pit. If he was lucky, he could catch some fish.

Darkness was quickly settling on the countryside as Xena rode along the path, searching for Joxer. She had ridden hard and should have closed the gap between them by now. Surely, it could not be much farther now. Knowing that Joxer was one who liked to stop at the first sign of nightfall, he should be close by. Suddenly, Xena caught a glimpse of movement, like someone running across the road in front of her. As she slowed Argo to a walk and listened, her senses told her she was not alone. Suddenly five leatherclad men stepped out of the darkness, blocking her way. "Well, well... look who we have here, Criseus! It looks like we've caught ourselves a Warrior Princess!"

"Haha! Yes sir, Toxius, I do believe you're right!"

Xena, as she sat on Argo, slowly reached for her sword. "Toxius, it's been along time. What brings you and your band of scum to these parts?"

"Oh! Come on Xena, don't tell me you're not glad to see me!" Toxius sneered at her with a look of amusement on his face. "Look at her...she is all alone!"

With a sneer of defiance, she said, "It'll take a lot more than what I see here to defeat me!"

"You mean, like us?" a voice boomed from behind her.

She quickly turned, only to see five more of Toxius ' men. With a mighty surge, she backflipped off Argo's back. She landed on her feet, sword in hand. The first attacker swung his sword and Xena blocked it, then kicked him in the face. She trilled her infamous battle cry and lay into the attackers.

Joxer sat up with a start. "Xena? XENA!" He heard the sounds of swordplay, battle cries, and howls of agony. He sprang to his feet and ran as hard as he could run to the aid of his friend. The fight was only a very short distance away.

As Joxer reached the scene, he saw many men attacking Xena. He drew his sword and lay into the first swordsman he came to. With great determination, Joxer battled. He cut this man down, only to be attacked by yet another. His focus was on only one thing, and that was protecting Xena.

Xena saw Joxer, and she was utterly amazed at the skill and focus that he displayed. He fought like an expert, and she was speechless...so speechless that her attentions were distracted long enough for an arrow from Criseus' crossbow to strike her. It penetrated her arm, near her shoulder, and protruded completely through her arm.

Joxer saw Xena's wound, and he saw her wince in pain. He was even more determined to protect her! He fought like a rabid dog, and the foes were quickly whittled down to size. In one last cowardly move, Criseus and Toxius ran for their lives. The others were dead, killed by Xena and Joxer.

"Xena! Xena! How bad are you hurt?"

Xena fell to her knees, looking at the arrow in her arm. "I've been hurt worse..."

Joxer took the arrow in both hands, and carefully broke it in half. Then, he pushed the arrow completely through her arm. Xena cried out in pain, then looked at Joxer. "Thank you for coming, Joxer. You fought well."

"Come on, we have to get some water and a bandage for this! My camp is right over there!"

As the two walked, Xena's pain intensified. Halfway to the camp she passed out.

"Oh, great! Xena, don't die on me!"

Joxer took Xena in his arms and carried the Warrior Princess to his camp. As he placed her on his only blanket, he quickly took a scrap from it to bandage her arm.

As Joxer cleaned the wound he kept a careful eye on Xena's breathing and the loss of blood. Soon, he had the flow of blood stopped. All he could do for now was wait.

As Xena slept, Joxer sat near her, watching the steady rhythm of her breathing. "Why was she here? And where was Gabrielle? When he parted company with them, both were on their way to the Amazon village. He would seek answers from her when she awoke. Right now, the most important thing was keeping her warm and making sure her wound was clean. They could talk later.

Feeling sure that Xena was resting ok, Joxer had let himself drift off to sleep. How long he slept, he didn't know, but he suddenly awoke when he heard the sounds of quiet moaning. He looked over at Xena and saw her shaking beneath the covers. He knealt beside her, feeling of her forehead. She was burning up! The wound must have become infected! Pulling the blanket back he saw her arm swollen and red. He had to do something quick to bring her fever down. Soaking strips of cloth that he had torn from his shirt, he bathed her head and face, trying to cool her fever down.

He remembered that she kept a small supply of herbs in her saddle bag for emergencies. Surely there would be something for infection, for Xena always made sure she had everything covered that could possibly happen.

After finding the proper herbs, he redressed her arm with a bandage that was soaked and packed with these herbs. This was all that he knew to do. Xena was shivering so badly from the fever, and he had never seen the Warrior Princess so vulnerable before. But by the gods she was beautiful! He always thought she was attractive, but his eyes had always been on Gabrielle...so how could he have not noticed Xena before? As he bathed her head and neck with the cool rags, she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Joxer? Where are we? What happened?" She tried to raise up but the pain in her arm caused a gasp to escape from her lips, suddenly reminding her of what had happened.

"I heard the fight and ran to see what was going on. When I got there it seemed that you were outnumbered a little, so I decided to give you a hand. You took an arrow and so I brought you back here to my camp. How do you feel?"

"Lousy, but thank you for helping. I remember now, Toxius and Crisius jumped me on the road. But wait! I also remember you fought like a man possessed! I've never seen you fight that way! You've been holdng out on me, haven't you?"

Joxer smiled shyly, "I don't know what came over me, Xena. I got there and saw them surrounding you and I just lost it! I couldn't let them kill you!"

She reached up and touched his cheek, "Thank you , Joxer..." then closed her eyes and drifted back into a restless sleep.

Joxer sat there holding her head in his hands for awhile then stretched out beside her. He suddenly realized how important her friendship was to him. "I can't lose you now, Xena.." As he held her, he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**GENERAL COPYRIGHT/DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Callisto, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.**

_**Hidden Feelings**_

Part III

Warrior: Bond

Xena awoke, and found herself unconsiously snuggling close to Joxer. At first she was startled at the situation she found herself in, but then she realized that she felt warm and peaceful. She felt something that she had not felt since she was a child. Safe! Yes, the mighty Warrior Princess felt strangly safe and protected next to this boyish, innocent man. "There are those feelings again, Xena! What is happening here?" She pulled herself out of her thoughts once again and struggled to her feet. The pain in her arm was still there but she felt cooler and better otherwise. "Well, I might as well make myself useful here and get this fire going again."

Hearing the sounds of fire crackling and footsteps by his head, Joxer awoke with a start! There was Xena, up and sitting by the fire. "Hey! You look a lot better! That's good! How's the arm?"

"Stiff and sore, but I'll live, she grinned." So who's going to do the cooking around here anyway? Don't look at me, I'm injured!" she grinned sheepishly and grimaced, holding her arm. Then smiling again mischieviously, she said, "Tell you what. I'll get everything ready if you'll get us some fish this time."

"Ok, sounds like a deal to me! I do happen to know how to fish almost as well as you do. You see, I have many skills too, Warrior Princess!" With that Joxer took off for the pond.

"Yes, I'm starting to believe you do have many hidden skills, Joxer! You are full of surprises here lately!" She smiled and thought to herself as she watched him walk away. "Yes indeed, Joxer, I'm learning many new things about you, and I want to learn more!"

When Joxer returned with the fish, he asked, "Why are you here, and where is Gabrielle, anyway?" A rush of sadness overcame him as he thought of the blonde bard.

"Gabrielle has gone on to the Amazon village. I was worried about you, so I came back to find you. I thought you could probably use a friend now.. I'll meet back up with her in a couple of weeks"

"You came back to keep me company?" Joxer was touched by her kindness and concern. Reaching his hand out to hers, and caressing it he smiled, "Thanks, Xena, it means a lot to me that you care."

"I do care, Joxer, more than you could ever know..." She thought, as she looked at him.

As they finished eating the fish, which by the way were larger than the ones Xena had caught a couple of days before, Joxer made it a point to mention that fact to her several times during the meal. Xena spoke up and asked, " Joxer, what are your plans? Are you still going to visit your family?"

"Yes, I think I should. I haven't seen them in so long and I also heard that there is a warlord that has been giving the people in their village a hard time. He raids farms and plunders their food supplies. I should help them deal with him if I can."

"I thought your father was a warlord, Joxer?"

"He is, but a reformed one. He stopped raiding and looting a few years ago when he realized that he could be more valuable as a fighter for good. Kinda like another ex-warlord I know."

Joxer smiled as he looked at her. "You and my father have a lot in common. I think you would like him, and I know he would like you. Hey! Why don't you come with me? You aren't meeting Gabrielle for a couple of weeks and you don't need to be alone with that arm hurt, at least for a few more days, anyway. Come on, Xena, what do you say! I could use your help with that warlord if it gets down to a fight. Please?"

Xena chuckled, "So you want to bring me home to meet the family, huh? Does this mean we're going steady?" She teased, knowing Joxer would turn beet red at any moment, but she loved it when he got red-faced and shy.

"V-very funny, Xena! Very funny!" Joxer did turn bright red, even though he tried not too. "By the gods, the idea of me and Xena...together..as a c-couple, even I'm not that foolish to think that would ever happen." He thought to himself.

"I would love to go with you and meet your family. You have never talked about them much, so I would be interested to see where 'Joxer the Mighty' comes from. And this warlord sounds like someone I need to have a little talk with and maybe help him to see the errors of his ways!" Xena cocked her eyebrow and grinned at the thought of getting hold of another slimy warlord. She would surely enjoy giving him an attitude adjustment.

The pair decide to just laze around camp for one more day, to give Xena a chance to get a little stronger, before they set out for Thebes. They talked and joked most of the day, learning things about each other with every story of their youth and every personal revelation that they shared with one another. Xena was the first to break the chain of excited conversation they had going, when she decided to go to the pond and take a cooling swim. Joxer was tempted to join her; but being the gentleman that he was, decided to allow her some privacy.

The water felt good against her skin. It had been a few days and she felt pretty grimy, plus the water cleansed her wound. As she lay back and lazily floated in the cool pond, her thoughts drifted back to Joxer. "I can't believe I'm having so much fun with him.. He is a jewel! So kind and so caring, and a fighter! How did I not sense that about him? I usually can tell that about a person. Gabrielle is so foolish to not see this...or, should I even care whether she does or not. I see it...Maybe I'm envious of Gabrielle's innocence, her goodness? Men like Joxer look for that in a woman. The good guys never want someone like me..."

"Ok, Xena, snap out of it. Just enjoy the time you are having and be thankful for his friendship. Besides, we have a warlord to deal with. Now that I know Joxer has it in him to fight, we will make a pretty good team against this guy."

She climbed up onto the bank of the pond and reached for her clothes. As she was pulling on her leathers, she heard a rustle from behind her. She hurriedly finished dressing and looked up. Just then Joxer stumbled out from behind the trees, red-faced and apologizing like mad! " I-I'm so sorry Xena, I heard a noise and I thought something might be wrong...I-I didn't realize you were still...uh...undressed...please forgive me. I didn't see anything...well no, that's not true...I-I did...but I promise I will erase it from memory, ok!" He studdered nervously.

"That's alright, Joxer! Calm down, no harm done." She laughed.

He was thankful that she took it so well. But erase what he saw from memory? Who was he kidding, the sight he had beheld was astounding! He had never imagined she was so stunning! Firm muscular body, such smooth skin... by the gods, she was something!

As night fell, they both retired for the night, with plans to leave for Thebes early in the morning. As Joxer lay across the fire from Xena, he kept seeing her in all her glory by the pond. He was never going to be able to erase that picture from his mind! He thought to himself, "This is going to be a long night!"

Xena was having trouble sleeping, too. She kept remembering how good it felt to lie close to Joxer, how warm and safe she had felt. Silently she thought, "It's going to be a long night!..."


	4. Chapter 4

**GENERAL COPYRIGHT/DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Callisto, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.**

_**Hidden Feelings**_

Part IV

Partners: Friends

Joxer opened his eyes as the morning sun beamed. Hearing noises and leaves crunching under footsteps, he raised up to find Xena busily packing up camp. "Wow, the recuperative powers of that woman are amazing!" He thought to himself.

"Hey, sleepyhead! Are you going to give a wounded woman a hand here or not? Everything's packed except for that small pot with some tea left in it. Better grab it before it gets cold!" Xena said cheerfully, as she started to saddle Argo. When she reached to pick up the saddle, the pain in her shoulder reminded her that she was still not 100% back to normal.

Seeing her wince in pain, Joxer ran over and took the saddle from her. "Hey, let me do that! You don't want to make that wound start bleeding again!" She gladly handed it to him and smiled as their hands touched when he took the saddle.

"So you made tea this morning?" Joxer asked in a joking manner.

"Yes, does that surprise you? I DO have many skills, you know. Just because I hate to cook doesn't mean that I don't know how. I make a pretty good cup of herbal tea, as a matter of fact! You should try it, and you'll see!"

Xena's blue eyes sparkled with happiness as she teased him about trying her tea. The last couple of days with her had been the happiest he had been in a long time. All thoughts of Gabrielle and the hurt that he felt were disappearing into faint shadows of his mind. "What am I thinking? This is Xena here, pal! Get a grip!" Joxer shook the thought out of his head and picked up the tea and took a sip. It was very good! She does have many skills!

Joxer started out walking down the trail towards Thebes, with Xena riding behind on Argo. After a little while she rode up beside him and stopped. As she offered her hand down to him she spoke, " Why don't you climb on up behind me? We could make better time if we both rode."

He wasn't sure what to do for a minute but then realized that she was right. Walking was slowing them down and they needed to get to Thebes soon, before that warlord did anymore damage. So he took her hand and jumped up behind her. He was trying to find a place on the saddle to hang on to, when Xena reached around and pulled his arm around her waist. "This is the best way to hold on", she chuckled. "I won't bite!"

Joxer slowly relaxed and put his other arm around her and smiled..."This was going to be a very nice trip, indeed!"

As Xena kicked Argo into a trot, she sighed as she felt Joxer's arms around her. She felt the same warm, comforting feeling that she had felt before. As much as she tried to deny it, she knew that the feelings she had been fighting were real. She was falling for this lovable warrior clown.

They had been riding for hours when they reached the edge of Thebes boundary. Here, they stopped to let Argo rest before they went on. Sitting down on the soft grass, Xena asked, "Where is your family's home? Are we close to it yet?"

"Yes, it is just over that hill. You know, I'm kinda nervous about seeing them again. When I left it was not under exactly the best of terms. My father and I had been involved in an argument over my not wanting to join him in his raids."

"Well, maybe now that he has changed, he will understand why you made that choice. He may have some things to apologize to you for, Joxer."

"Yeah, maybe your right...I hope so anyway." He sat down beside her and turned to find her smiling at him. Those eyes! They were burning into his soul, he wanted to kiss her so bad! But there was no way! Not Xena, he would ruin their friendship forever if he did such a stupid thing! Not to mention she would probably clobber him for it too!

As Joxer stood up to go collect Argo, Xena got up to help him. But before she knew it an impulse came over her. She leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. Joxer's eyes grew wide! "W-What was that for?" He gasped, breaking away from her.

"I just wanted to thank you again for helping me...and for being my friend." She lowered her head and walked toward the horse. "What am I doing? This is getting harder to deal with. What if he doesn't want me...?" She thought as she reached for Argo's reins.

"Xen..." Before he could finish calling to her, a cloud of dust came up over the hill, with the clattering sounds of swords, hoofbeats and armor.

"It's Talmedeus! The warlord who has been raiding the famers! Over here, Xena, hurry!" Joxer pulled his sword and got ready for the inevitable confrontation. He looked over at Xena and realized the truth. He was falling in love with her.

"Great, this is worse than Gabrielle! Way to go Jox ole boy! Out of the frying pan and into the fire!" He took a deep breath and thrust his sword at the soldier who had just appeared before him.

Xena slapped Argo on the rump and ran her off, out of danger. Drawing her sword and giving it a spin, she turned to face the first group of soldiers coming toward her.


	5. Chapter 5

**GENERAL COPYRIGHT/DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Callisto, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.**

_**Hidden Feelings**_

Part V

Warriors: Heros

"Ha, ha, ha! Look at this miserable excuse for a fighter! He has to hide behind a woman!" The warlord roared in laughter. "You dare to defy Talmadeus the Destroyer?"

Xena was ready for the fight. "You have some nerve to call anyone miserable! Look at yourself. You hide behind your worthless scum that you call men!"

Talmadeus' expression changed instantly from derision to rage. "I will kill you both, and then drag your carcasses behind my horses!"

As the henchmen attacked, Xena and Joxer stood their ground valiantly. Swords clashed, and war whoops resounded across the hillside. Xena kicked and backflipped, and even jumped out of a tree to get the upper hand.

Joxer displayed remarkable skill with his sword. He matched the best moves of several swordsmen, and killed each in smooth style. He was quite unlike the old Joxer, because he fought with reckless abandon-just like Xena.

Xena noticed Joxer's new-found skills, although this was hardly the place to admonish his skills. The attackers were many and the heroes were outnumbered. It looked as if they were doomed, yet they fought without restraint.

Suddenly, the attentions of the attackers turned from Joxer and Xena. On the hillside was a large group of villagers and skilled warriors, who were the protectors of the village. As they attacked, they gave Xena and Joxer a chance to gather their wits. Xena's eyes flashed as she realized that they would be triumphant. She fought like a wildcat, killing many of the evil ones. Her chakram screamed through the air, time and again. It returned to her hand with bloodstains on its cutting edge.

The vigorous attack by the townspeople routed the plunderers. The remaining ones fled for their lives. A great cheer was shouted by all, as they held swords high and slapped each other on the backs.

"Joxer! Joxer! Where are you?" Xena called. She feared that he had been a casualty.

"Xena! Here I am!" As Joxer waved, he also held his sword high.

"Young man!" a voice called. Looking around, Joxer beheld a strong, stately man who was still on horseback.

"Father!" Joxer gasped. "It is good to see you."

As the man studied Joxer's clothes, he said, "You fought like a true warrior. You have learned well, my son. I am proud of you."

Xena was now by Joxer's side. She was pleasantly surprised to see how much family resemblance there was between Joxer and his father.

"Father, this is Xena, the Warrior Princess. Xena, meet my father, Paleus."

"Xena! I've heard of you. Welcome. I was not aware that you knew my son."

"Hello, Paleus! Yes, Joxer is a dear frind of mine and I am fortunate to know him. He is a brave man." She looked at Joxer, and lovingly stroked his shoulder. Paleus, who was looking at Joxer, nodded in approval. "Come! Your Mother will be surprised and happy to see you again, son."

Soon the group was in sight of Joxer's home, a modest cottage with stables and a small garden. Joxer stopped for a minute before going any farther. Xena also stopped and looked to see what was wrong. "You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just been so long, I wanted to try to remember." She understood and waited until Joxer was ready to go on. He took a deep breath and said, "Let's go."

When they were almost at the door a small woman burst through it, smiling with tears on her cheeks. "Joxer! Son, I thought we would never see you again!" She hugged him so hard, she almost knocked him off his feet!

"Mother! It's good to see you, too! I have missed you so much." Joxer looked at his Mother and there were tears forming in his eyes.

"Mother, I want you to meet Xena. Xena this is my mother, Alisha."

"It is an honor to meet you, Alisha." Xena smiled as she greeted Joxer's mother.

"I am honored to meet you, too, Xena. Have you known my son long?" She took Xena's arm and the two women walked into the house. Joxer was pleased, for it looked as though this would be a good visit after all.

After finishing a huge meal prepared by Alisha, Joxer sat back and watched as Xena and his mother talked and laughed in the corner by the fireplace. Paleus then sat down by his son and said, "So you and the Warrior Princess travel together now? That is good! You fight well together. She is a remarkable woman."

"Yes, she is, Father. Yes, she is." Both men sat silently for awhile and then Joxer spoke first. "Father, I know we parted under bad terms, But I have heard that you have given up being a warlord. That is good. I know that fighting for good is the best way, and a warrior of your prominence and skill is valuable to all."

"I'm proud of you, son, and I am sorry for the way things were with us in the past. I hope we can make a new start for us." With that, Paleus hugged his son and both men looked at each other with a new understanding and respect for one another.

" I think we can, Father. I think we both have changed and grown in the last few years. It's good to be home..."


	6. Chapter 6

**GENERAL COPYRIGHT/DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Callisto, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices. NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.**

_**Hidden Feelings**_

Part VI

Warriors: Lovers

Xena walked out to the stable to check on Argo, planning to get her settled for the night. After giving her a healthy helping of hay and grain, she found a brush and started brushing her long silky mane.

As she tended to the mare she was thinking about the events of the day. The ride to Thebes with Joxer had been very enjoyable and they'd talked about everything they could think of. She smiled as she remembered the kiss she had given him before Talmadaus had shown up. The fight with him was tense, but once again Joxer amazed her with his new skills.

New? Or skills he had been hiding. After meeting his father, she found it hard to believe he had never been taught the art of war. Yes, Joxer was a mystery to her. What other skills was he capable of that he had hidden from her? Her thoughts then drifted back to the kiss. Why had she done that? She hoped that she had not ruined their friendship by being so bold. Well, at least he seemed to have gotten his mind off of Gabrielle for now. Maybe she had helped him to feel better after all...

The barn door creaked. Xena spun around and saw it open. Just as she was about to draw her sword, Joxer walked in through it.

"There you are! I had a feeling I would find you out here. Is Argo bedded down ok? If you need any more hay for her I can get some." Joxer was already reaching for the pitchfork and the hay in the corner.

"She's fine, thanks. I believe she will have plenty for the night." As Xena continued brushing Argo, she felt Joxer watching her from behind. "Your parents are wonderful people, I 'm glad you invited me to come along. It has been a good trip, for sure!"

"Yes, they like you very much. My father is honored to have you in his home." Joxer shuffled uneasily as he tried to decide what to say next.

" Joxer!"

"Xena!"

They laughed as they both spoke at the same time. Xena spoke first. "Joxer, about this afternoon in the field before the fight. I don't know what came over me. I hope I didn't do anything to upset you."

"Upset me? Xena, you don't know how much I have been wanting to do that! It has been torture being near you these last few days. I've discovered feelings for you that I never dreamed were possible." Joxer stopped talking when he realized what he was saying and turned around headed for the door.

"Wait! Don't go! Xena urged him as he walked to the door. "Please, come here..."

Joxer stood there as she walked to him. As he reached out to her, he took her face into his hands and traced her lips with his fingertips. Leaning toward her, he kissed her, his eyes widened as he realized she was returning the kiss. As it grew from tender to passionant, he could feel the hunger in her lips and her embrace. He suddenly broke away, leaving her breathless.

"Whats wrong?'" Xena looked confused, and hurt.

"Are you sure about this? I mean if we do this it will change things for us forever. Not just us, but our friendship with Gabrielle, too. I don't want to tear our friendship apart, the way it did for me and her. That is why I must know if you are sure that this is right."

Xena smiled and caressed his face in her hands. "I have never been more sure of anything in my life." The look in her eyes told him all he needed to know.

As they kissed, she melted into his arms. They lay back into the straw, their hands exploring each other's body. The feelings of love and passion grew until there was no one left in the world except them. Xena smiled as she discovered yet another hidden skill that Joxer possessed! The way he made her feel was like no other man had ever done. Was this what making love was? This was much more than lust and desire. Yes, this was much more... Soon they were lost in ecstasy. As she lay close to him she whispered, breathlessly,"I Love You."

Joxer lay beside her trembling from the overwhelming feelings. He had never been with a woman that made him feel this way before! Was this real? Did he really hear her right? Yes! It was real! He held her closer and whispered in her ear, "I love you, too, Xena!" After another long tender kiss they both fell into a peaceful, happy sleep.

Over the next three days, Joxer and Xena fell more in love with each other. Life seemed so bright and new to both of them. They visited family members and heard stories of times long past. Xena even told a few stories of her own. And their nights together were filled with passion. Neither of them could believe what was happening between them, but it felt so right and that is all that mattered.

"I have had such a great visit, Joxer!"

"You made it great, Xena. Not to mention all the support you gave me in relation to my parents."

"I hope it never ends, but we must start thinking about leaving. It's a long walk to the Amazon village." She thought for a minute, then said, "Joxer, what about Gabrielle?"

"I am stronger than I have ever been before, thanks to you, Xena. Gabrielle will always be a friend to me, but I realize now, it will be nothing more than that. I'll take care of it. I'll talk to her when we get back"

"I really like your folks. Do you think they liked me?"

"What do you think? My father was overjoyed at the prospect of a warrior daughter-in-law!"

As they walked back to the house to say their farewells, Joxer hugged Xena one more time and said, "I love you."

Xena smiled and kissed him tenderly. Then suddenly she stopped and looked at him with a questioning look in her blue eyes.

"What did you mean, by 'daughter-in- law'? Are you suggesting marriage?

" I don't know, Xena, what do you think? Is that possible for us? I mean with the way we live, could it work?"

Xena, thought for a minute. The idea was one she had never considered for herself, with anyone. She knew she could not change the way she lived her life. Fighting for the Greater Good was her way, and she could never abandon it. But she liked the idea of love and a family too. She had almost given up hope of ever having that after Solon's death. Now, maybe, she could have a second chance. Was there a way that she could have both?

"I don't know, if there is a way for it to work, we'll know..." Xena smiled to herself and held Joxer's hand as they walked...


End file.
